Holy smokes. This is the second mothers day that I have
celebrated as a mother. Sometimes I still have these “holy crap!!” moments when
I realize I have a baby. Actually…now I have a toddler. These last 15 months
have been among the craziest times of my life. there has been little sleep, and
lots of mess. Few date nights, lots of diapers. lots of smiles, lots of
tears. It has truly been a whirl wind.
There are toys and books on the floor, miss matched sippy
cups in the cupboard, little socks between the sofa cushions, and something sticky
on my shirt, the wall, the car etc…
Sometimes I get so caught up in getting through my “to do
list” each day… feed him, bathe him, dress him, read books, play time, nap time,
repeat twice, all while doing house work in between… I find myself going
through motions of every day and by the
time I go to bed I don’t even know what happened. Like when you drive somewhere
and you get there and you have no recollection of your driving.
But then there are the little happenings that totally wake
me up, and I see everything so clearly. I see little brown eyes looking right
at mine, little chubby fingers pointing at trees, I hear his little nose
sniffing flowers, and I hear him yelling out in whatever language it is he
currently speaks. Little moments that to
anyone else would seem insignificant, but to me, are earth shattering
fantastic.
Last week, I was feeling particularly overwhelmed. I had a
lot to get caught up on, and he was especially grumpy. I was a bit frazzled
when he sat down on the floor, and with a very serious face, he examined his
foot. He held it in his hand and took a good look. Then he reached over and
grabbed his little green shoe, and tried so hard to put it on. I didn’t jump in
and put it on for him, I just watched from across the room. I suddenly realized that to him, every day is
different and filled with new things. He learns constantly things that are subconscious
to me. It was one of the sweetest moments I have shared with him, and he doesn’t
even know we shared it. and I cried.
I am so lucky to be his mom.
